I often feel that my brain has been hijacked by a whisk when I'm on my phone for a great length during the day. And I have installed blocks on apps, but still find myself cheating and going on Instagram on my laptop to break it. It's a relief thing, and here I see it makes the relief harder to achieve the more you use it. I think its great you're giving it so much thought, we are all going to look back horrified at how much time we frittered away and how self-flagellation doesn't change the pattern either. If I put my phone in a drawer, that seems to really help as it isn't lingering in the background as a tempting distraction.
Hijacked by a whisk is a great description. It's a horrible feeling isn't it - really disorientating and depressing.
I really appreciate your kind comment about me giving it thought. It seems odd after two decades that there would be more to say about the phone, but honestly I really think there is. Or at least there is something missing in the way we as a society talk about it that doesn't really connect with the reality of using it.
The cycle of frittering away time and self-flagellation seems embedded for many. As I hint here in the article, I'm increasingly sure that the self-flagellation isn't warranted. Not just from a point of view of compassion, not just from a point of view of other people building addictive apps... I just don't think our minds work in quite the way we think they do, and I think the phone likely exposes that more than anything else.
If you are ever interested, I tried to capture a bit of post-phone use guilt in a piece "So You Just Scrolled". I might see if I can capture it better soon. I'm convinced that blaming oneself only makes it worse.
Thank you very much for reading, and for your kind comment. All the best for your phone fight - the drawer is a very under-rated move.
That's not what I meant though. It landed in a very disturbing way. Like, if she doesn't find out, it's less bad? Good if it works for y'all and good that you're past this, don't get me wrong. Just it seemed very misplaced, at least to me, to see that line in the middle of the rest. I'm partly projecting for sure.
I am so sorry, I replied too quickly and misread you. The line is meant entirely to be at my expense - it's what my panicky brain came up with at the time, and I completely agree it was a wrongheaded view. I suspect it reads very differently from inside our family than from outside and that's a really useful lesson for me, both in writing and replying. I'd like to think I've changed since, and I hope sharing that is of some help to others.
Personally, I find "They might tell my wife." the most unexpected plot twist in this article. And sure, it's not comparable to other things children go through, but it being subconscious doesn't excuse it, although it could explain it. I'm curious as it's been seven years, what are your daughter's thoughts and memories of this?
I often feel that my brain has been hijacked by a whisk when I'm on my phone for a great length during the day. And I have installed blocks on apps, but still find myself cheating and going on Instagram on my laptop to break it. It's a relief thing, and here I see it makes the relief harder to achieve the more you use it. I think its great you're giving it so much thought, we are all going to look back horrified at how much time we frittered away and how self-flagellation doesn't change the pattern either. If I put my phone in a drawer, that seems to really help as it isn't lingering in the background as a tempting distraction.
Hijacked by a whisk is a great description. It's a horrible feeling isn't it - really disorientating and depressing.
I really appreciate your kind comment about me giving it thought. It seems odd after two decades that there would be more to say about the phone, but honestly I really think there is. Or at least there is something missing in the way we as a society talk about it that doesn't really connect with the reality of using it.
The cycle of frittering away time and self-flagellation seems embedded for many. As I hint here in the article, I'm increasingly sure that the self-flagellation isn't warranted. Not just from a point of view of compassion, not just from a point of view of other people building addictive apps... I just don't think our minds work in quite the way we think they do, and I think the phone likely exposes that more than anything else.
If you are ever interested, I tried to capture a bit of post-phone use guilt in a piece "So You Just Scrolled". I might see if I can capture it better soon. I'm convinced that blaming oneself only makes it worse.
Thank you very much for reading, and for your kind comment. All the best for your phone fight - the drawer is a very under-rated move.
That's not what I meant though. It landed in a very disturbing way. Like, if she doesn't find out, it's less bad? Good if it works for y'all and good that you're past this, don't get me wrong. Just it seemed very misplaced, at least to me, to see that line in the middle of the rest. I'm partly projecting for sure.
I am so sorry, I replied too quickly and misread you. The line is meant entirely to be at my expense - it's what my panicky brain came up with at the time, and I completely agree it was a wrongheaded view. I suspect it reads very differently from inside our family than from outside and that's a really useful lesson for me, both in writing and replying. I'd like to think I've changed since, and I hope sharing that is of some help to others.
Personally, I find "They might tell my wife." the most unexpected plot twist in this article. And sure, it's not comparable to other things children go through, but it being subconscious doesn't excuse it, although it could explain it. I'm curious as it's been seven years, what are your daughter's thoughts and memories of this?
Glad that line landed!
She finds it very funny. I think it helps that she's a lot older, has a phone herself and has a very well-developed view of what they are like.