The Phone Dad Moment
I am a TV producer and father living in Surbiton, near London.
A few years ago, I spent my daughter’s entire ballet recital staring at my phone instead of watching her perform. I was in clear view of everyone, and it made her cry.
She has forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.
I tried for years to cut my phone use. Nothing worked. Because of my job, I couldn’t get a dumbphone.
High Vis Idiot
I spent years studying neuroscience, psychology, contemplative traditions - and my own excessive phone use.
I saw that
my phone pickups were entirely automatic
my phone was affecting my mood way more than I imagined
I became convinced I needed a daily period of mental training to reverse both effects.
In a busy day, the best time for it was my commute. But I kept failing - phones are too addictive.
So I went nuclear. I now wear a professional blue high-vis bib at the station that announces: Phone Free Commute. It’s public accountability. I have two hours a day of mental silence.
And it worked - spectacularly. Not only did I stop picking up my phone automatically, not only did I feel tonnes better, but my work worries stopped following me home.
Seeking the Sublime on the 9.17
As I get further and further into this adventure, what started as a desperate fix has turned into a deep curiosity: what happens if you just wait? (I mean not just for the train).
I’m fascinated by Buddhist philosophy, and want to understand the trillion-dollar distraction machine through this lens.
This Substack is my Gonzo report from the front lines of the war for our attention. A mix of:
Ancient Wisdom: Applying old truths to the morning rush.
Modern Science: Understanding the dopamine loops that keep us foggy.
Frankly Humiliating Reality: Honest reports from a recovering phone addict.
Two Ways To Enjoy
1. For the Observers If you are just here to see what happens if a guy lives in total mental quiet for two hours a day, or laugh at my phone addict stories, I am the crash-test dummy for your digital soul. Subscribe to receive weekly dispatches emailed each Tuesday.
2. For the Rebels If you are ready to reclaim your pre-phone mind, join the Class of 2006. This post answers any questions, and this one acts as a training manual. Let me know how you get on.
