Home of the Phone Free Commute
The Phone Dad Moment
I am a TV producer and father living in Surbiton, near London.
A few years ago, I spent my daughter’s entire ballet recital staring at my phone instead of watching her perform. I was in clear view of everyone, and it made her cry.
She has forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.
I tried for years to cut my phone use. Nothing worked. Because of my job, I couldn’t get a dumbphone. I needed a way to own a phone without it owning me.
High Vis Idiot
I spent years studying neuroscience, psychology, contemplative traditions - and my own mind amid excessive phone use.
I saw that
my phone pickups were entirely automatic
my phone was affecting my mood way more than I imagined
I needed a daily period of mental training to reverse both effects.
In a busy day, the best time for it was my commute. But I kept failing - phones are too addictive.
So I went nuclear. I now wear a professional blue high-vis vest at the station that announces: Phone Free Commute. High vis idiot = public accountability.
And it works. I have two hours a day of mental silence.
And that, over a few weeks, built to spectacular benefits. Not only did I stop picking up my phone automatically, not only did I feel tonnes better, but my work worries stopped following me home.
The 9.17 To Somewhere Else
As I get further and further into this adventure, what started as a desperate fix has turned into a deep curiosity.
I’m fascinated by Buddhist philosophy, and want to understand the trillion-dollar distraction machine through this lens.
My life is a jumble of work and family commitments, and the phone is at the very centre of it. I want to map the parent/phone/work mind in all its messy complexity.
This Substack is my Gonzo report from the front lines of the war for our attention. A mix of:
Ancient Wisdom: Applying old truths to the morning rush.
Modern Science: Understanding the dopamine loops that keep us foggy.
The Home Front: Honest dispatches from a man who once made his daughter cry because he had his head in his phone.
Two Ways To Enjoy
1. For the Observers If you are just here to see what happens if a guy lives in total mental quiet for two hours a day, or laugh at my phone addict stories, I am the crash-test dummy for your digital soul. Subscribe to receive weekly dispatches emailed each Tuesday.
2. For the Rebels If you are ready to reclaim your pre-phone mind, join the Class of 2006. This post answers any questions, and this one acts as a training manual. Let me know how you get on.
