That "phones are so interesting that they have made everything else in life more boring" and that your solution isn't to it isn't to read more books (or do other things) is a solid insight. It's a happy coincidence you published this because a couple days ago I was asking if anyone's found practices to help manage attention that aren’t about restriction or tactical control. "Reading a book" instead is a redirection tactic. Things like access control apps, devices, rewards, etc. all try to block or separate you from the stimulus.
I'm realizing after reading your piece that even my question was poorly structured because I was asking about how to "manage" attention. That assumes it's a thing that can and should be managed. Your point, that just doing nothing, being bored, is a good alternative; it's allowing both discomfort and space to just be. It's not about substituting one stimulus for another, or even trying to decide which is "good" or "bad" but just allowing boredom to sort of reset you, or as you say to do the "patient training."
I think people don't promote this as much because there's no app to sell, no course, no device. But it's simple and free. Thank you!
No, there’s no money in nothing sadly! But I’m increasingly convinced it’s totally worthwhile. We are likely the first generation in history ever to have to deliberately seek it out… in that way it feels analogous to how diets needed to be invented in countries with sudden plenty. It’s a shift that at first feels a little ridiculous, but I do think over time we’ll come to recognise that the unregarded incidental bits of nothing in the pre-phone world were secretly doing us a lot of good.
Yes! When I find it difficult to read, it’s because I haven’t first spent time doing nothing and quieting my mind. It’s completely futile to try and read in those moments (for me, in my experience) because there is just NO WAY I can process what I’m reading and pay attention to it, so I keep having to read and reread the same sentence and page until I have to give up disappointed. Alternatively, when I’m feeling calm and truly ready to read, I can enjoy it, be fully there, invested in my book, and have a great time.
Reading a book is a really handy bellwether in that regard isn’t it! It’s like a little speed camera for the mind. I know if I can’t settle to it, the mind is going too fast.
There’s a lot out there at the moment about the decline in reading, and of course I agree with much of it. But I do get a little frustrated when people imagine that people are just choosing a shiny thing over a book. As you rightly describe, the shiny thing changes the condition of our mind, sometimes making reading extremely challenging.
I feel a quiet sort of pride when I’m standing in line somewhere without the need to pull out my phone. Or when I can sit and eat or drink in silence. I don’t have a high vis vest or a two hour commute, but my own approach to being more intentional about phone use has brought me to much the same place as what you’re describing here.
I of course did nothing for some of my day before I began this whole process. But as I think back, I think it was always mired in uneasy indecision. Rather than pride, as I feel now.
I guess your point here Will, is that it is in the denying yourself of the phone, with all of the mental consequences that come along with that, which you are seeking. Now that you have hundreds of hours in, has the torture diminished? Is more time spend in the cleansing of the mind? Your articles sometimes say yes and sometimes it seems like your phone has the pull of a powerful magnet on you. Are some days easier than others?
Thinking about this a bit, and it’s prompted next week’s post.
The commute itself is far easier. Mostly it’s quite pleasant to do after so much practice. But I’m so allergic to writing that says putting down the phone is easy or restful, that I tend to put quite a bit of the emphasis on the tough early days. My 24/7 mood has improved quite a lot, and has stayed fairly consistent, but I don’t like writing from that point of success!
Another complexity is that my relationship with my thoughts has changed quite a bit as I’ve learnt different meditation styles over time. So now while my mood fluctuates, it’s something that it’s easier to observe dispassionately.
And then the phone. The pull to it fluctuates too - I have to use a lot of technology in work, so while I feel like the automatic impulse is diminished, it’ll definitely fluctuate quite a bit with usage, and never goes away. What remains, though diminished, I see more clearly - and am very interested in what I see, so write about it a lot!
My brain is so screwed up that I can't think of anything scarier than doing nothing. I kind of agree with you, though. Doing nothing is valuable, as made evident by my entertainment-obsessed brain's avoidance of it. And it's not just my phone or pc: reading a book is another form of distracting myself.
You have my deepest sympathy. I was very much the same, and would have found my own writing very irritating.
My own bete noire was work anxiety, and a couple of years ago it would have made what I’m doing now very painful. Confronting it was in retrospect a fantastic choice for me, it’s had a remarkable array of benefits. In the end it was a period of sustained meditation that really helped, but there are other routes to it I’m sure.
As my work situation hasn’t much changed - it’s as anxiety inducing as ever - I’m tempted to believe that finding a reliable way of resting my brain was what made the difference.
You can’t beat people watching, seeing the world go by (if above ground), or just being lost in thought - our gaze lost somewhere in the middle distance. Sometimes our eyes are too tired and sting-y to focus on a book.
I’m with you! I’m really enjoyting that now, and wouldn’t give it up for the world.
I should concede though that if I tried it a couple of years ago, being lost in thought for me would have resulted in quite painful overthinking. It took me a little time and work before sitting with thoughts was a happy thing.
That "phones are so interesting that they have made everything else in life more boring" and that your solution isn't to it isn't to read more books (or do other things) is a solid insight. It's a happy coincidence you published this because a couple days ago I was asking if anyone's found practices to help manage attention that aren’t about restriction or tactical control. "Reading a book" instead is a redirection tactic. Things like access control apps, devices, rewards, etc. all try to block or separate you from the stimulus.
I'm realizing after reading your piece that even my question was poorly structured because I was asking about how to "manage" attention. That assumes it's a thing that can and should be managed. Your point, that just doing nothing, being bored, is a good alternative; it's allowing both discomfort and space to just be. It's not about substituting one stimulus for another, or even trying to decide which is "good" or "bad" but just allowing boredom to sort of reset you, or as you say to do the "patient training."
I think people don't promote this as much because there's no app to sell, no course, no device. But it's simple and free. Thank you!
Thank you so much for reading!
No, there’s no money in nothing sadly! But I’m increasingly convinced it’s totally worthwhile. We are likely the first generation in history ever to have to deliberately seek it out… in that way it feels analogous to how diets needed to be invented in countries with sudden plenty. It’s a shift that at first feels a little ridiculous, but I do think over time we’ll come to recognise that the unregarded incidental bits of nothing in the pre-phone world were secretly doing us a lot of good.
I asked about a thing in a photo on here substack, reply I received: Nothing. Look for nothing dear friend.
True for boredom, just be, no more. Whatever is brought out within your mind, be with.
Yes! When I find it difficult to read, it’s because I haven’t first spent time doing nothing and quieting my mind. It’s completely futile to try and read in those moments (for me, in my experience) because there is just NO WAY I can process what I’m reading and pay attention to it, so I keep having to read and reread the same sentence and page until I have to give up disappointed. Alternatively, when I’m feeling calm and truly ready to read, I can enjoy it, be fully there, invested in my book, and have a great time.
Reading a book is a really handy bellwether in that regard isn’t it! It’s like a little speed camera for the mind. I know if I can’t settle to it, the mind is going too fast.
There’s a lot out there at the moment about the decline in reading, and of course I agree with much of it. But I do get a little frustrated when people imagine that people are just choosing a shiny thing over a book. As you rightly describe, the shiny thing changes the condition of our mind, sometimes making reading extremely challenging.
I feel a quiet sort of pride when I’m standing in line somewhere without the need to pull out my phone. Or when I can sit and eat or drink in silence. I don’t have a high vis vest or a two hour commute, but my own approach to being more intentional about phone use has brought me to much the same place as what you’re describing here.
Yes! The quiet pride! That’s beautifully put.
I of course did nothing for some of my day before I began this whole process. But as I think back, I think it was always mired in uneasy indecision. Rather than pride, as I feel now.
I guess your point here Will, is that it is in the denying yourself of the phone, with all of the mental consequences that come along with that, which you are seeking. Now that you have hundreds of hours in, has the torture diminished? Is more time spend in the cleansing of the mind? Your articles sometimes say yes and sometimes it seems like your phone has the pull of a powerful magnet on you. Are some days easier than others?
Thinking about this a bit, and it’s prompted next week’s post.
The commute itself is far easier. Mostly it’s quite pleasant to do after so much practice. But I’m so allergic to writing that says putting down the phone is easy or restful, that I tend to put quite a bit of the emphasis on the tough early days. My 24/7 mood has improved quite a lot, and has stayed fairly consistent, but I don’t like writing from that point of success!
Another complexity is that my relationship with my thoughts has changed quite a bit as I’ve learnt different meditation styles over time. So now while my mood fluctuates, it’s something that it’s easier to observe dispassionately.
And then the phone. The pull to it fluctuates too - I have to use a lot of technology in work, so while I feel like the automatic impulse is diminished, it’ll definitely fluctuate quite a bit with usage, and never goes away. What remains, though diminished, I see more clearly - and am very interested in what I see, so write about it a lot!
My brain is so screwed up that I can't think of anything scarier than doing nothing. I kind of agree with you, though. Doing nothing is valuable, as made evident by my entertainment-obsessed brain's avoidance of it. And it's not just my phone or pc: reading a book is another form of distracting myself.
You have my deepest sympathy. I was very much the same, and would have found my own writing very irritating.
My own bete noire was work anxiety, and a couple of years ago it would have made what I’m doing now very painful. Confronting it was in retrospect a fantastic choice for me, it’s had a remarkable array of benefits. In the end it was a period of sustained meditation that really helped, but there are other routes to it I’m sure.
As my work situation hasn’t much changed - it’s as anxiety inducing as ever - I’m tempted to believe that finding a reliable way of resting my brain was what made the difference.
You can’t beat people watching, seeing the world go by (if above ground), or just being lost in thought - our gaze lost somewhere in the middle distance. Sometimes our eyes are too tired and sting-y to focus on a book.
I’m with you! I’m really enjoyting that now, and wouldn’t give it up for the world.
I should concede though that if I tried it a couple of years ago, being lost in thought for me would have resulted in quite painful overthinking. It took me a little time and work before sitting with thoughts was a happy thing.