I'm currently doing a house sit in the burbs of Amsterdam, a 90 minute commute to the city where anything interesting is. The home is unlocked by an app on my phone. Because of that I sit and look out the window so as not to run the battery down but my journey with this, really a battle isn't it, began sixteen years ago. I decided to take the 12 days of the holidays and not use my phone except to text or talk to family and friends, no apps. Every time I reached for it I saw how addicted I was. Now I'm a solo female traveler/nomad who eats alone in a restaurant and doesn't use the phone to make it easier. The area I'm totally losing the battle is the hour or two right before bed, when I don't want to read or write or watch something extended. That's when I scroll. Oh and I lost my phone recently in a foreign country, alone. That was interesting. Part one is here if you are ever bored! https://kimberlyblevins.substack.com/p/alone-and-no-phone-in-spain
Thank you! I enjoyed that, although slightly nighmarish!
It’s a battle for us all I think. I’ve come to be very forgiving of myself in the evening. The later it gets the more the brain is tired and so it’s going to want to give into the digital stuff. You can’t do much useful with a tired brain imho.
That led me to a bit of an odd conclusion - that I have to get my mental rest during the day when I feel alert. I found that was the horse that led the evening cart so to speak.
Surprisingly enough, my commute is what finally made me get a mobile phone!
I flew over the hood of a car (at 40 kmh)who took my right of way (admittedly was late to watch my kids) flew over the hood of the car, summersaulted, and stood facing whence I came.
Broke my collarbone, and didn't call the police, which I learned is a must. I then got a mobile, which was also a help, working in IT.
Since 2002 I've had one...but try to restrict its use for good...
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! That sounds horrific. Did you recover okay?
Interesting about you realising you needed one. I must say, despite the Substack name, I’ve always felt the same. Beyond being in contact with people, they are so useful in so many ways.
The plan is to have all that without the downsides. And I believe it’s possible with the right regime to have the best of both worlds. Although given I’m pretty convinved the potential downsides are quite massive, fully understand those who go with a flip phone.
well...I can't interlock my hands behind my back anymore, but I'm doing fine.
The ability to stay connected world-wide is meaningful to me, and I wouldn't want to miss it.
I asked a witness if there was anything that I could have done better, and he was quite complimentary...was amazed to be honest how well I managed the accident. It took some time to heal, but I'm ok.
Before I had a phone, I was worried about the "Ball & Chain" factor - but...YOU are the one who decides if you answer it or not. Was actually quite freeing once I realized it.
I like this journey of yours! I have to ask though… what made you want to make your commute phone free? Are you phone free at home with the kids? It seems to me, if phone free with the kids is the issue, you should 100% use your phone on your commute, and turn it off at home. Maybe I misread something.
Thanks so much for reading! And a brilliant question, and one that a lot of the following posts help to answer.
But to avoid being annoying… It feels entirely logical to get your scrolling in on the way home. But I believe a few downsides to that
Very directly, if you scroll like crazy, you give yourself a dopamine hangover, and as a result you will be more irritable and tired and glum when you get home.
Phone use begets phone use, in really interesting ways. The more you use it, the more you reinforce that mental wiring.
I believe that at home we can pick up the phone automatically, without ever having chose to do so. The best way of preventing this is by using a bit of spare time to train your mind both to recognise and resist the call to the phone. And the commute is a big chunk of free time.
Interesting. I’ve noticed I do feel exhausted after scrolling for a while. I’ve always thought it was strange to be tired when my body never moved. I’ll read more of your writing to get a better understanding of it all. Thank you for bringing this to light!
Okay I am FINALLY deep diving in on your posts since we added each other a few days ago. It is something I have very much been looking forward to.
Dude. I think what you are currently doing is one of the most important things anyone is currently doing. This is everything right now. The counter-culture to smart phone addiction and social media has to start somewhere and this is ground zero.
I admire your phone free life, we recently got an electronic medical record which is great but I’m always on my phone obsessively checking things even though it won’t change the outcome.
Really enjoying reading about your journey.
As someone who aims to have bear cubs of my own, I owe them my undivided attention!
Thank you so much for saying so! I really appreciate it.
That’s so interesting about your phone checking… Although a tonne is written about scrolling TikTok, my own experience is that it’s been checking/fixing really boring things that has pulled me to the phone repeatedly. And work seems to be in the dead centre of it - not actually doing work or anything to do with a colleague… Exactly as you describe, checking some weird work process that doesn’t need to be checked.
And yes, definitely worth giving it a bit of thought before the bear cubs come along! I don’t want to be overdramatic, but not getting to grips with this sooner (in all its fascinating complexity) is my number one regret when it comes to the first decade I spent with my kids.
Thank you for your wisdom, I’m going to follow after I finish my time at this hospital. I think your journey has confirmed that frequent phone checking to do work just means you spend less happiness with your family!
Hey! Thanks so much for getting in touch! Really hope you enjoy reading
Brick phone! Very jealous. Never felt able to do it. Maybe one day if my job changes. I'll bet would have saved me a lot of drama! How have you found it?
yeah i've found the brick phone great! i just use my laptop for functional stuff (whatsapp, banking, emails, etc) so i feel free with my brickphone. your recent post about Boethius - i relate to that
I'm currently doing a house sit in the burbs of Amsterdam, a 90 minute commute to the city where anything interesting is. The home is unlocked by an app on my phone. Because of that I sit and look out the window so as not to run the battery down but my journey with this, really a battle isn't it, began sixteen years ago. I decided to take the 12 days of the holidays and not use my phone except to text or talk to family and friends, no apps. Every time I reached for it I saw how addicted I was. Now I'm a solo female traveler/nomad who eats alone in a restaurant and doesn't use the phone to make it easier. The area I'm totally losing the battle is the hour or two right before bed, when I don't want to read or write or watch something extended. That's when I scroll. Oh and I lost my phone recently in a foreign country, alone. That was interesting. Part one is here if you are ever bored! https://kimberlyblevins.substack.com/p/alone-and-no-phone-in-spain
Thank you! I enjoyed that, although slightly nighmarish!
It’s a battle for us all I think. I’ve come to be very forgiving of myself in the evening. The later it gets the more the brain is tired and so it’s going to want to give into the digital stuff. You can’t do much useful with a tired brain imho.
That led me to a bit of an odd conclusion - that I have to get my mental rest during the day when I feel alert. I found that was the horse that led the evening cart so to speak.
Surprisingly enough, my commute is what finally made me get a mobile phone!
I flew over the hood of a car (at 40 kmh)who took my right of way (admittedly was late to watch my kids) flew over the hood of the car, summersaulted, and stood facing whence I came.
Broke my collarbone, and didn't call the police, which I learned is a must. I then got a mobile, which was also a help, working in IT.
Since 2002 I've had one...but try to restrict its use for good...
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! That sounds horrific. Did you recover okay?
Interesting about you realising you needed one. I must say, despite the Substack name, I’ve always felt the same. Beyond being in contact with people, they are so useful in so many ways.
The plan is to have all that without the downsides. And I believe it’s possible with the right regime to have the best of both worlds. Although given I’m pretty convinved the potential downsides are quite massive, fully understand those who go with a flip phone.
Hope your regime is working for you?
well...I can't interlock my hands behind my back anymore, but I'm doing fine.
The ability to stay connected world-wide is meaningful to me, and I wouldn't want to miss it.
I asked a witness if there was anything that I could have done better, and he was quite complimentary...was amazed to be honest how well I managed the accident. It took some time to heal, but I'm ok.
Before I had a phone, I was worried about the "Ball & Chain" factor - but...YOU are the one who decides if you answer it or not. Was actually quite freeing once I realized it.
Stay safe.
I like this journey of yours! I have to ask though… what made you want to make your commute phone free? Are you phone free at home with the kids? It seems to me, if phone free with the kids is the issue, you should 100% use your phone on your commute, and turn it off at home. Maybe I misread something.
Thanks so much for reading! And a brilliant question, and one that a lot of the following posts help to answer.
But to avoid being annoying… It feels entirely logical to get your scrolling in on the way home. But I believe a few downsides to that
Very directly, if you scroll like crazy, you give yourself a dopamine hangover, and as a result you will be more irritable and tired and glum when you get home.
Phone use begets phone use, in really interesting ways. The more you use it, the more you reinforce that mental wiring.
I believe that at home we can pick up the phone automatically, without ever having chose to do so. The best way of preventing this is by using a bit of spare time to train your mind both to recognise and resist the call to the phone. And the commute is a big chunk of free time.
There’s more, but hope that helps!
Interesting. I’ve noticed I do feel exhausted after scrolling for a while. I’ve always thought it was strange to be tired when my body never moved. I’ll read more of your writing to get a better understanding of it all. Thank you for bringing this to light!
Okay I am FINALLY deep diving in on your posts since we added each other a few days ago. It is something I have very much been looking forward to.
Dude. I think what you are currently doing is one of the most important things anyone is currently doing. This is everything right now. The counter-culture to smart phone addiction and social media has to start somewhere and this is ground zero.
This is such a beyond kind comment and I appreciate it a tonne. You have massively overestimated me, but even so.
Thank you so much for the comments. Wil come back to you on each in turn later today.
Being 60 helps! Despite 33 years in IT, I now find the phone more challenging to use and understand than a mainframe (the big computer the banks use)!
PS Loved the line "What if the tool I need… is looking like a tool?"
I admire your phone free life, we recently got an electronic medical record which is great but I’m always on my phone obsessively checking things even though it won’t change the outcome.
Really enjoying reading about your journey.
As someone who aims to have bear cubs of my own, I owe them my undivided attention!
Thank you so much for saying so! I really appreciate it.
That’s so interesting about your phone checking… Although a tonne is written about scrolling TikTok, my own experience is that it’s been checking/fixing really boring things that has pulled me to the phone repeatedly. And work seems to be in the dead centre of it - not actually doing work or anything to do with a colleague… Exactly as you describe, checking some weird work process that doesn’t need to be checked.
And yes, definitely worth giving it a bit of thought before the bear cubs come along! I don’t want to be overdramatic, but not getting to grips with this sooner (in all its fascinating complexity) is my number one regret when it comes to the first decade I spent with my kids.
Thank you for your wisdom, I’m going to follow after I finish my time at this hospital. I think your journey has confirmed that frequent phone checking to do work just means you spend less happiness with your family!
Keep up the good work!
I'm not sure about wisdom!
But yes… it sneaks up on you 😀
i saw you on the train yesterday wearing your high vis vest! prompted me to look it up, cool idea (from a big brick phone user)
Hey! Thanks so much for getting in touch! Really hope you enjoy reading
Brick phone! Very jealous. Never felt able to do it. Maybe one day if my job changes. I'll bet would have saved me a lot of drama! How have you found it?
yes there's a lot of interesting reading!
yeah i've found the brick phone great! i just use my laptop for functional stuff (whatsapp, banking, emails, etc) so i feel free with my brickphone. your recent post about Boethius - i relate to that