Fantastic fantastic read man. I actually really needed to read this today.
You also had a quote in there, "When I stopped and meditated, it was as if I’d dammed up that river. I felt the weight of it pressing against my body like a wave."
Reminded me of this Thoreau quote that I love: “I think to myself, I must attend to my diet; I must get up earlier and take a morning walk; I must have done with luxuries and devote myself to my muse. So I dam up my stream, and my waters gather to a head. I am freighted with thought.”
Thank you so much for reading and for such a kind comment! Means so much to me!
What a lovely quote! I read Walden years ago but I confess I barely remember it. Perhaps some part of it lodged in me? I must re-read it.
I’m really glad you enjoyed that part! It came to me really slowly and in lots of separate parts. First the river of continuity, another time the feeling that the river was fed by different tributaries, and then finally connecting it with the whoosh I’m always felt in the body when resisting and impulse.
Thoreau used to simply sit in one spot from dawn till dusk, not engaging in anything, simply being in the present moment. He was fairly interested in Buddhism I’m certain, he talked about the present moment at all times and the Bhagavad Ghita was one of the books he had with him in his little cabin he built next to Walden Pond.
Really something to the whole meditation and mindfulness thing…
Always a really enjoyable read - a rare knack of making quite deep ideas feel completely down to earth with the dog sick, after-school classes, and Jumble’s spectacularly ill-timed fart. The Evil Advisor is great - everyone who's ever unlocked their phone only to forget why will recognise that slippery little voice.
"four part trilogy" 😂 I don’t see why you can’t reinvent the modern day monk immediately to overcome the logistical problem of school pickups. Also thinking about your nostrils is surprisingly entertaining. Looking forward to seeing how you wrap this all up in the final part .
This mostly got me thinking about the point of meditation and how different the process and outcomes can be for different people. I first used meditation while pregnant with my first child. Intent to have her without the aid of medication. Spent countless ours listening to guided meditation intended to support visualization, positivity, and teach breathing techniques. Day of…21 hours later, after being forced to take the medication, I had a cesarean…so yeah. Now I meditate on my paddleboard on the river, with nothing around but the birds, occasional fish, and a turtle slipping into the water occasionally. No thinking required.
I still practice deep breathing. For me the meditative state is about absolute relaxation of the mind and body. I began to think about how differently my mind works from that of my husband and children. My husband’s brain is constantly speculating. My brain does not want to devote its limited resources on wondering about things which have passed and I have no control. My daughter has trained her mind to be so intently focused that she monitors her thoughts down to the minute. My son…doesn’t seem to have to “think” at all…brat. He just somehow knows everything….
Point being. I believe that a curious and wondering mind is a healthy and thriving mind. I don’t think it’s a flaw at all. The fact that your curiosity is about phone use and you keep thinking about it seems to line up with that.
The happiness piece. Immense joy. What stems it? How do we get it more often? My greatest joys come from being present with others. Family game night (losing control of your bladder from sheer laughter is an obvious sign of joy, right?). Students who truly connect with what I’m teaching them. Reading with my kids. Celebrating their accomplishments. Being involved in the “after school activities” (my daughter needed more days in the week and then had the audacity to ask me why I never let her take a dance class), but I loved those times. Being alone in a river surrounded by water and sunshine.
These are the times when I experience the greatest joys, and rarely leave me reaching for the phone. Maybe joy comes from creating more of those things or approaching them with a different mindset.
We all need more time in our lives. We’ve become too busy for joy.
I agree with you on a curious and wondering mind. Although I've definitely enjoyed achieving a degree of mental quiet, clearing my head entirely never feels like a good goal. Equally I think for me in the past my problem has been rampant over-speculation and worrying about things beyond my control. I've been pleased to see that decline with the meditation.
And on happiness, all agreed. I think the happiness achieved through the hyper concentration was an odd sort of self-manufactured emotion. It was difficult to attain and didn't feel very compatible with the rest of my life.
This was a superb article, Will! I love your description of what sounds like loving-kindness meditation? And I immensely enjoyed your insights into the other variations you have tried. (I am just finishing an article on meta-awareness and free will (ha) so this seems especially serendipitous.)
Thank you so much for reading, sharing and for such a lovely comment! Truly appreciated!
I have tried to compress down a huge voyage through the world of meditation, and I don't tend to use the labels, so probably a bit unclear! I actually did practise a form of loving-kindness meditation as part of my long journey, mentally wishing my fellow passengers well from the secrecy of my head. I must write about that some day. It may well have contributed to the mindset which produced the joy. The joy I experienced I think is normally treated as a side effect of great concentration. When developed fully it's known as jhana, though I would hesitate to make that claim for my own experience.
Very much look forward to your article! Funnily enough my journey ends in a bit of a free will space next week.
Dude. Meditation scares the crap out of me. I remember back when I was teaching, they did some full-staff thing where they made us close our eyes and sit silently for 20 minutes. Awful experience for me. But it’s also scary how difficult meditation is. I’m so used to my brain being busy. If I’m not fucking around on my phone, I’m reading a book. No book, I’m playing video games. Etc.
There is one place I can kind of meditate, get in a flow state of sorts. Driving. Sometimes I’ll drive without music and just think. Shame petrol prices are so high or I’d do it more (I didn’t vote for him, don’t blame me).
Writing is also kind of meditative in a flow-state kind kind of way but I’m not sure that really “counts.”
I'd say 20 minutes out of the blue, on its own, no guidance sounds like trying to run a marathon with no training. Awful. The usual advice now is more like five minutes daily.
Driving silent can be a lovely thing. I've had some really good experiences doing that, so am certain it's worthwhile.
There are so many definitions of meditation, so no-one will ever say anything is right or wrong or what "counts". Meditation people are very laid back :-)
I can say for me that - as per last week's piece - it was the contrast between whatever I was focusing on and the arrival of thoughts that made the difference. So that feeling of trying to focus on something - anything - and noticing that thoughts came regardless. That, done over weeks, had very noticeable effects.
I love it to bits. But if you are happy with your brain, then if it ain't broke...
I used to pride myself on my busy, thought-filled brain. I assumed all my academic achievements were because of it. But after developing (and continuing to develop) the skill of meta-awareness, I now suspect they happened *in spite* of it. (After all, a "thought" is a byproduct of your collective past experience, selected as the most salient constellation of neural activity for the current moment in time. Is that really "you"?)
You know that delicious "click" of an aha moment? I used to think insights like that were a product of my busy mind. But two things happened in practice. First, I became more sensitive to thoughts so my detection threshold dropped. And because I catch them earlier, they accrue less charge, so over time I'm slowly shaping the source itself: the less I fuse with a thought, the less that kind of thought tends to emerge. It's a slow but steady feedback loop. Which led to the second thing: there's less noise crowding out the insights, so even the faint, burgeoning ones survive long enough to be caught. In short, there are more lightbulb moments than ever!
The fact that you enjoy driving without passive stimulation is a very promising sign. I'm sure there is a meditation style that might feel better suited to you out there. (I used a kind of hybrid approach which worked well for my mind. Will share the details in an upcoming essay if curious.)
Really excited for the final piece, it’ll be just in time for my next experiment! I actually have started to feel the pause you mentioned in your last article when your wife mentioned messy kitchen. I think it’s down to conscious effort to be present which in a way is a relative of meditating
I found sound way more helpful too in getting started! It was several months before I switched to the breath as a focus - I wonder if it was too faint/subtle for me to get hold of in the early days?
I used all sorts of sounds. Fridge noise most of all, but threw in some birdsong. And went through a stage of using clanging too… although in my case it was a Tibetan singing bowl thing I found on Spotify.
Fantastic fantastic read man. I actually really needed to read this today.
You also had a quote in there, "When I stopped and meditated, it was as if I’d dammed up that river. I felt the weight of it pressing against my body like a wave."
Reminded me of this Thoreau quote that I love: “I think to myself, I must attend to my diet; I must get up earlier and take a morning walk; I must have done with luxuries and devote myself to my muse. So I dam up my stream, and my waters gather to a head. I am freighted with thought.”
Thank you so much for reading and for such a kind comment! Means so much to me!
What a lovely quote! I read Walden years ago but I confess I barely remember it. Perhaps some part of it lodged in me? I must re-read it.
I’m really glad you enjoyed that part! It came to me really slowly and in lots of separate parts. First the river of continuity, another time the feeling that the river was fed by different tributaries, and then finally connecting it with the whoosh I’m always felt in the body when resisting and impulse.
Thoreau used to simply sit in one spot from dawn till dusk, not engaging in anything, simply being in the present moment. He was fairly interested in Buddhism I’m certain, he talked about the present moment at all times and the Bhagavad Ghita was one of the books he had with him in his little cabin he built next to Walden Pond.
Really something to the whole meditation and mindfulness thing…
Always a really enjoyable read - a rare knack of making quite deep ideas feel completely down to earth with the dog sick, after-school classes, and Jumble’s spectacularly ill-timed fart. The Evil Advisor is great - everyone who's ever unlocked their phone only to forget why will recognise that slippery little voice.
"four part trilogy" 😂 I don’t see why you can’t reinvent the modern day monk immediately to overcome the logistical problem of school pickups. Also thinking about your nostrils is surprisingly entertaining. Looking forward to seeing how you wrap this all up in the final part .
This mostly got me thinking about the point of meditation and how different the process and outcomes can be for different people. I first used meditation while pregnant with my first child. Intent to have her without the aid of medication. Spent countless ours listening to guided meditation intended to support visualization, positivity, and teach breathing techniques. Day of…21 hours later, after being forced to take the medication, I had a cesarean…so yeah. Now I meditate on my paddleboard on the river, with nothing around but the birds, occasional fish, and a turtle slipping into the water occasionally. No thinking required.
I still practice deep breathing. For me the meditative state is about absolute relaxation of the mind and body. I began to think about how differently my mind works from that of my husband and children. My husband’s brain is constantly speculating. My brain does not want to devote its limited resources on wondering about things which have passed and I have no control. My daughter has trained her mind to be so intently focused that she monitors her thoughts down to the minute. My son…doesn’t seem to have to “think” at all…brat. He just somehow knows everything….
Point being. I believe that a curious and wondering mind is a healthy and thriving mind. I don’t think it’s a flaw at all. The fact that your curiosity is about phone use and you keep thinking about it seems to line up with that.
The happiness piece. Immense joy. What stems it? How do we get it more often? My greatest joys come from being present with others. Family game night (losing control of your bladder from sheer laughter is an obvious sign of joy, right?). Students who truly connect with what I’m teaching them. Reading with my kids. Celebrating their accomplishments. Being involved in the “after school activities” (my daughter needed more days in the week and then had the audacity to ask me why I never let her take a dance class), but I loved those times. Being alone in a river surrounded by water and sunshine.
These are the times when I experience the greatest joys, and rarely leave me reaching for the phone. Maybe joy comes from creating more of those things or approaching them with a different mindset.
We all need more time in our lives. We’ve become too busy for joy.
Thank you for reading!
I agree with you on a curious and wondering mind. Although I've definitely enjoyed achieving a degree of mental quiet, clearing my head entirely never feels like a good goal. Equally I think for me in the past my problem has been rampant over-speculation and worrying about things beyond my control. I've been pleased to see that decline with the meditation.
And on happiness, all agreed. I think the happiness achieved through the hyper concentration was an odd sort of self-manufactured emotion. It was difficult to attain and didn't feel very compatible with the rest of my life.
This was a superb article, Will! I love your description of what sounds like loving-kindness meditation? And I immensely enjoyed your insights into the other variations you have tried. (I am just finishing an article on meta-awareness and free will (ha) so this seems especially serendipitous.)
Thank you so much for reading, sharing and for such a lovely comment! Truly appreciated!
I have tried to compress down a huge voyage through the world of meditation, and I don't tend to use the labels, so probably a bit unclear! I actually did practise a form of loving-kindness meditation as part of my long journey, mentally wishing my fellow passengers well from the secrecy of my head. I must write about that some day. It may well have contributed to the mindset which produced the joy. The joy I experienced I think is normally treated as a side effect of great concentration. When developed fully it's known as jhana, though I would hesitate to make that claim for my own experience.
Very much look forward to your article! Funnily enough my journey ends in a bit of a free will space next week.
Dude. Meditation scares the crap out of me. I remember back when I was teaching, they did some full-staff thing where they made us close our eyes and sit silently for 20 minutes. Awful experience for me. But it’s also scary how difficult meditation is. I’m so used to my brain being busy. If I’m not fucking around on my phone, I’m reading a book. No book, I’m playing video games. Etc.
There is one place I can kind of meditate, get in a flow state of sorts. Driving. Sometimes I’ll drive without music and just think. Shame petrol prices are so high or I’d do it more (I didn’t vote for him, don’t blame me).
Writing is also kind of meditative in a flow-state kind kind of way but I’m not sure that really “counts.”
But then again I kinda like having a busy brain.
Hey! Thank you so much for reading!
I'd say 20 minutes out of the blue, on its own, no guidance sounds like trying to run a marathon with no training. Awful. The usual advice now is more like five minutes daily.
Driving silent can be a lovely thing. I've had some really good experiences doing that, so am certain it's worthwhile.
There are so many definitions of meditation, so no-one will ever say anything is right or wrong or what "counts". Meditation people are very laid back :-)
I can say for me that - as per last week's piece - it was the contrast between whatever I was focusing on and the arrival of thoughts that made the difference. So that feeling of trying to focus on something - anything - and noticing that thoughts came regardless. That, done over weeks, had very noticeable effects.
I love it to bits. But if you are happy with your brain, then if it ain't broke...
I used to pride myself on my busy, thought-filled brain. I assumed all my academic achievements were because of it. But after developing (and continuing to develop) the skill of meta-awareness, I now suspect they happened *in spite* of it. (After all, a "thought" is a byproduct of your collective past experience, selected as the most salient constellation of neural activity for the current moment in time. Is that really "you"?)
You know that delicious "click" of an aha moment? I used to think insights like that were a product of my busy mind. But two things happened in practice. First, I became more sensitive to thoughts so my detection threshold dropped. And because I catch them earlier, they accrue less charge, so over time I'm slowly shaping the source itself: the less I fuse with a thought, the less that kind of thought tends to emerge. It's a slow but steady feedback loop. Which led to the second thing: there's less noise crowding out the insights, so even the faint, burgeoning ones survive long enough to be caught. In short, there are more lightbulb moments than ever!
The fact that you enjoy driving without passive stimulation is a very promising sign. I'm sure there is a meditation style that might feel better suited to you out there. (I used a kind of hybrid approach which worked well for my mind. Will share the details in an upcoming essay if curious.)
Really excited for the final piece, it’ll be just in time for my next experiment! I actually have started to feel the pause you mentioned in your last article when your wife mentioned messy kitchen. I think it’s down to conscious effort to be present which in a way is a relative of meditating
Really looking forward to reading about it!
Yes those ideas are definitely related aren’t they. I always thought one way of thinking about meditating is the training to be present.
Feels like being present isn’t a decision we can make in any given moment, but it is a trainable skill
Why are dogs always sick on rugs instead of the floor? Such a thing in my house.
So tempted to check that on AI, but I'll try to let the urge pass.
The worst case so far - an entire packet of butter stolen (secretly) , eaten (secretly) then sicked up on a vintage rug by the Christmas tree.
It's hard to imagine that isn't deliberate
Why aren't they sick in secret places? Our dog could so easily go to the garden
How interesting! Totally agreed!
I found sound way more helpful too in getting started! It was several months before I switched to the breath as a focus - I wonder if it was too faint/subtle for me to get hold of in the early days?
I used all sorts of sounds. Fridge noise most of all, but threw in some birdsong. And went through a stage of using clanging too… although in my case it was a Tibetan singing bowl thing I found on Spotify.
Very pleased to meet a fellow meditator!