21 Comments
User's avatar
C.R. Burgess's avatar

"Realizing you are just on a train" is an excellent metaphor for a lot of what we covet. I love it. Also, to your thing about the train ride not being beautiful. I grew up taking a similarly ugly train ride. There is some soul-enhancing joy to figuring out how to find beauty in boring infrastructure.

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you so much! Really kind of you to say so.

Also - you are right. The training metaphor is really helpful here, it feels like if one can train to find this interesting, one will never struggle when one’s kid starts telling them an endless story about Minecraft with no punctuation. (Love them really).

HealinLayers's avatar

Well you were correct to share this hahaha it definitely gives more of an appealing view and could potentially persuade me to also wear a hi vis and not go on my phone on a commute lol. No seriously though this was lovely to read and if i am being completely honest i do this a lot as i get travel sickness and going on my phone makes it worse so i have little choice in the matter but i never really stop and fully appreciate the ordinary so this i think i will now try - thank you for sharing 😊

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you so much for reading! And apologies again for my overthinking :-)

That’s really interesting that you are condemned to travel this way. I hadn’t thought of that, but that must be true of a fair few people.

But then never easy to stop and appreciate things when you are feeling queasy… I always imagine queasiness is kryptonite to this sort of thing!

HealinLayers's avatar

Ohh it absolutely is because you can think or focus on nothing else 😩

I will start to try though as it sounds like it may be very therapeutic ✨

Phone Free Will's avatar

Let me know how it goes, if you give it a try!

I’m a big fan of not using the phone. Less certain what to tell people to do when it’s gone. As I’ll explain one day, I have a tonne of thought, but am slightly conflicted on the subject!

Noemie Mooney's avatar

I love this so much, especially the bit about not wanting to become “that annoying person” because SAME!

I write about wellbeing and I’m constantly trying not to sound beige and preachy. Like yes, ordinary life can be beautiful, but also please don’t make me say that in a linen shirt while whispering about gratitude (weird but for some reason people like this always give me vibes of the Others from Lost)

This really lands because it’s not “hey, just appreciate life more”, it’s “hey remove enough noise that normal life can actually reach you again”

Man With No Name's avatar

I liked this because it avoids the preachy “be present” tone and instead arrives at the point honestly.

The steam train is great - funny, relatable, slightly sad, and carries everything withoit feeling forced. There’s no pretending that life becomes magically beautiful and mostly feels dull until the brain recalibrates.

“Heavy phone use encourages the mind to look at normal life with uneasy, restless disappointment” is an excellent line.

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you so much for taking the time to read it - I really appreciate it.

I look forward to digging into your stuff.

Jennifer Earle (Jen) 🍫🥐's avatar

There are still train spotters! Seems such a bizarre hobby. You can usually spot them at Clapham junction. Something for you to look for on your next journey!

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you! I'd love to see that! I must keep an eye out for them. Theres something heartening about that.

My father in law used to tell me about the huge crowds he joined as a kid. I've assumed their disappearance is about us all having more distractions in our lives. It could be though that steam trains were just awesome to look at 😃

roger ward's avatar

Phone, Thank you for writing the title in english. As I was reading this a choo-choo whistle blew. Wouldn't that be fun if you were on that one! You captured my attention when you mentioned Vauxhall. I had an Vauxhall Astra years ago. How long is your ride?

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you. When you mentioned a Choo Choo the other day I did wonder why I was using such big words before.

The commute is one hour each way. The little stretch from Waterloo to Surbiton is around half an hour.

I have to report that sadly Vauxhall has long lost its association with Vauxhalls. This seems a shame to me.

roger ward's avatar

On my drive home, a truck was in front of me. It was a nice Ford F-150. The licence plate was "THE TUBE". I passed him and looked over to see if he was wearing your uniform. I couldn't tell, but he was on his phone.

Phone Free Will's avatar

That's terrifying. To clarify I'm anti phone use while driving :-)

Dukes Morgan's avatar

We’re rooting for you Will.

I’m learning to use mine less and to have a me-time.

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thank you!

And very good luck to you too! It's quite the fight isn't it…

Max's avatar

I think reframing the advice of "seeing the spectacular in the ordinary" in terms of putting your phone away for a couple hours a day is wise, because it is very difficult to look at the world with that kind of keen perception when your attention is fragmented to begin with. I've had the same experience as you, where if you can simply put the phone away consistently enough, you start to see the fantastic in the ordinary by default. It just takes a little bit of retraining your attention.

Also, a note on this line: "He was playing one of those games where you manage a little town. Like the one we just went through." Brilliant! Not sure if you intended it this way, but this seems to encapsulate so much of the phone problem: we spend so much time consuming and doing the "VR" version that it that it actually prevents us from just doing/ seeing the "R" version - i.e. the real thing.

Phone Free Will's avatar

Thanks so much for reading!

It really was an incredible irony. But he wasn't in the least unusual, a huge proportion of people play games. Must count it one day. His game actually looked unusually fun. A lot of them like work to me!

I totally agree that it's difficult to look at the world that way immediately. As you say the phone has kind of temporarily damaged us, so our starting line for this feels a few metres behind where the start line was a few years ago. That was my experience anyway.

Lily Wilken's avatar

'The art of seeing' is a book I was told about two decades ago (and never read), but your post brought that title back to mind. Presence feels deceptively small, yet incredibly impactful. And fragile, with all the screens staring at us.

Phone Free Will's avatar

I've heard of it but never read it too! Next on the list.

I have a suspicion that all these books from the pre phone age are likely to feel a little hard for us now. Will be interesting to see.

Thanks so much for reading!