This is one devastating effect of a dopamine debt I had never considered - and you've completely opened my eyes to it.
You're absolutely right. A scroll session on the commute home could have you bringing a shell of yourself home to your family. But the point you raised about misattribution is even more insidious - the sour mood gets blamed on something else entirely, triggering unnecessary rumination that further poisons the quality time you rushed home for.
Your "evening airlock" framing is something I'll be thinking about for a while. There's something in the idea of a deliberate decompression chamber between work-self and home-self that goes beyond just phone avoidance - and I think this is a practice we would all be wise to adopt.
Thank you for spreading awareness about this. And for walking the talk, no less. This was a great read! (And I truly appreciate the shout-out.)
Not at all! Thank you for the great piece. And for the thoughtful comment.
Insidious is the word… the brain would happily blame a spouse, a boss or even a child before they fixed on phone use in the hour before. And I’ve been guilty of trying to scroll away that anxiety, which is a nightmarish circle.
Reading your piece about the chemical imbalances in the brain has made commuting home surrounded by scrollers even stranger. I had been pretty convinced beforehand that it wasn’t a great idea, but now - at the risk of sounding a little pompous - it is genuinely poignant.
Made me realise I’m quite odd on Substack, advocating for something but being surrounded by its opposite for two hours a day. I suspect there’s a loooong way to go in our cultural understanding until the Evening Airlock becomes a thing!
Anyway, that said, must head off to it now. Thanks again!
The irony is not lost on me, believe me. (I advocate for engineering your environment to minimise dopamine hijacking yet promote such messaging on a platform designed to do just that! I like to think we’re fighting fire with fire.)
I wonder about what I do often, whether it's hypocrisy. But really I'm convinced it's not - by now honestly I'd rather not infinite scroll Substack Notes (lovely as so many people on here are!)
But at the risk of being pious, I genuinely believe in this message, and I wish I'd come to it years ago. When my kids were younger.
The misattribution point is the most underrated part of this. The phone gets a pass because the mood feels like it's about something real, like the thing someone said at work, the dinner that needs making, the general weight of the day. The actual cause is invisible because it arrived gradually.
I commute without headphones or a phone — not as a practice, just because I find it more comfortable. The difference in how I arrive somewhere versus the people around me who've been scrolling for 40 minutes is visible. Not just mood, but response time, eye contact, the speed at which they re-enter the room. It takes a while.
The best ideas I've had didn't come at a desk or in a brainstorm. They came in the shower, on a walk, somewhere the brain was allowed to just wander. Boredom isn't a gap to fill — it's where the thinking actually happens.
The airlock framing is exactly right. It's not about the phone, it's about having a decompression chamber at all.
That’s great you’ve been able to do this, took me a while to get started! Do you find it easy?
And yes, I’m absolutely fascinated by misattribution. I wrote in the 30 Days piece about how once I took my phone use in hand, my work worries (which had felt entirely separate) kind of melted away. I think we all suspect that the phone creates a lot of anxiety and depression, and we’ve almost come to accept it. But to witness it first hand, to see it lift… It’s staggering.
Honestly it took deliberate effort at first — the reflex was definitely there. But my phone has been on do not disturb for years now, and spending most of my time with someone who also isn't glued to a screen made it easier to maintain. Environment does a lot of the work that willpower can't sustain.
What also helps is travelling with someone — not necessarily talking the whole time, but the possibility of conversation makes the phone feel irrelevant. Which is maybe its own kind of data point about what we're actually looking for when we scroll.
Which connects to what you describe about the work worries melting away — that's the moment the real source becomes visible. Most of us never get that clarity because we never remove the variable.
On my long train journeys from SF to LA and back I've noticed the same mechanism in a different form. I feel contained, there's nowhere to be, and everything I'd been postponing mentally just surfaces. I get bored enough that the real thoughts finally have room.
That's so interesting. I completely agree on environment. It makes all the difference, and some have a natural advantage with it. Me, I've gone to absurd attempts to recreate the environment by tapping into social commitment with the high vis vest. It's absolutely ridiculous of course, but it does work. Proves the principle I guess! Hopefully for others there is an easier way :-)
This is one devastating effect of a dopamine debt I had never considered - and you've completely opened my eyes to it.
You're absolutely right. A scroll session on the commute home could have you bringing a shell of yourself home to your family. But the point you raised about misattribution is even more insidious - the sour mood gets blamed on something else entirely, triggering unnecessary rumination that further poisons the quality time you rushed home for.
Your "evening airlock" framing is something I'll be thinking about for a while. There's something in the idea of a deliberate decompression chamber between work-self and home-self that goes beyond just phone avoidance - and I think this is a practice we would all be wise to adopt.
Thank you for spreading awareness about this. And for walking the talk, no less. This was a great read! (And I truly appreciate the shout-out.)
Not at all! Thank you for the great piece. And for the thoughtful comment.
Insidious is the word… the brain would happily blame a spouse, a boss or even a child before they fixed on phone use in the hour before. And I’ve been guilty of trying to scroll away that anxiety, which is a nightmarish circle.
Reading your piece about the chemical imbalances in the brain has made commuting home surrounded by scrollers even stranger. I had been pretty convinced beforehand that it wasn’t a great idea, but now - at the risk of sounding a little pompous - it is genuinely poignant.
Made me realise I’m quite odd on Substack, advocating for something but being surrounded by its opposite for two hours a day. I suspect there’s a loooong way to go in our cultural understanding until the Evening Airlock becomes a thing!
Anyway, that said, must head off to it now. Thanks again!
The irony is not lost on me, believe me. (I advocate for engineering your environment to minimise dopamine hijacking yet promote such messaging on a platform designed to do just that! I like to think we’re fighting fire with fire.)
Totally with you on fighting fire with fire!
I wonder about what I do often, whether it's hypocrisy. But really I'm convinced it's not - by now honestly I'd rather not infinite scroll Substack Notes (lovely as so many people on here are!)
But at the risk of being pious, I genuinely believe in this message, and I wish I'd come to it years ago. When my kids were younger.
The misattribution point is the most underrated part of this. The phone gets a pass because the mood feels like it's about something real, like the thing someone said at work, the dinner that needs making, the general weight of the day. The actual cause is invisible because it arrived gradually.
I commute without headphones or a phone — not as a practice, just because I find it more comfortable. The difference in how I arrive somewhere versus the people around me who've been scrolling for 40 minutes is visible. Not just mood, but response time, eye contact, the speed at which they re-enter the room. It takes a while.
The best ideas I've had didn't come at a desk or in a brainstorm. They came in the shower, on a walk, somewhere the brain was allowed to just wander. Boredom isn't a gap to fill — it's where the thinking actually happens.
The airlock framing is exactly right. It's not about the phone, it's about having a decompression chamber at all.
Thank you!
That’s great you’ve been able to do this, took me a while to get started! Do you find it easy?
And yes, I’m absolutely fascinated by misattribution. I wrote in the 30 Days piece about how once I took my phone use in hand, my work worries (which had felt entirely separate) kind of melted away. I think we all suspect that the phone creates a lot of anxiety and depression, and we’ve almost come to accept it. But to witness it first hand, to see it lift… It’s staggering.
Honestly it took deliberate effort at first — the reflex was definitely there. But my phone has been on do not disturb for years now, and spending most of my time with someone who also isn't glued to a screen made it easier to maintain. Environment does a lot of the work that willpower can't sustain.
What also helps is travelling with someone — not necessarily talking the whole time, but the possibility of conversation makes the phone feel irrelevant. Which is maybe its own kind of data point about what we're actually looking for when we scroll.
Which connects to what you describe about the work worries melting away — that's the moment the real source becomes visible. Most of us never get that clarity because we never remove the variable.
On my long train journeys from SF to LA and back I've noticed the same mechanism in a different form. I feel contained, there's nowhere to be, and everything I'd been postponing mentally just surfaces. I get bored enough that the real thoughts finally have room.
That's so interesting. I completely agree on environment. It makes all the difference, and some have a natural advantage with it. Me, I've gone to absurd attempts to recreate the environment by tapping into social commitment with the high vis vest. It's absolutely ridiculous of course, but it does work. Proves the principle I guess! Hopefully for others there is an easier way :-)
Great stuff as always! And also for introducing Juliette's work. Just subscribed to it!
Thank you! That's so kind of you to say.
Hope you enjoy @Juliette Ryan’s writing. She describes the brain more clearly than anyone I've read here. I love the detail personally.
You’re a legend, Will!