I think the danger with podcast consumption apart from being so socially acceptable, is that they can fit neatly into slots where we should otherwise be engaged in more healthy behaviours. Like silence, contemplation and mindfulness. We're already living busy and messy lives as it is. We don't always need the extra stimulation and distancing from our true nature and feelings.
Let’s give ourselves a rest, and allow space to be present for the things that really matter.
I couldn’t agree more with this point. There's something really valuable here.
I'm beginning to believe that people who'd never even heard of the term "mindfulness" were nevertheless able to access moments of it in the gaps in life, which likely supported their mental health in ways that wasn't obvious to them.
But the phone is closing all those gaps. So its very existence forces us all to reappraise questions we'd never previously considered. If you're interested, I wrote a piece which tried to get down my thinking on "the gaps": https://www.phonefreecommute.com/p/mind-the-gap?r=712j8x
Love this! One thing that's genuinely surprised me while travelling through Latin America (after 18 years in Singapore) is how few people use earphones on the street or on public transport. People here just... sit there. Lost in their own thoughts. It's wonderful and slightly confronting.
I'll admit that I'm guilty of the opposite. Stuff You Should Know is my go-to when my head is too full and I'm trying to fall asleep. Which is basically using a podcast to avoid sitting with my own brain. Probably exactly your point..... 😅
That Latin America / confronting observation is fascinating... Maybe they are living in a communal Dreamworld!
Definitely no podcast-shaming here. Can't be the case that podcasts are "bad"... If we follow that logic to its extreme, then nothing, no books, music, or art, would be worth doing because in a way everything can be used to avoid our own thoughts. It's definitely something about the omnipresence...
And for some reason in the stage of the journey I'm at, silence has become disproportionately appealing. It's really sneaked up on me! Interesting to see how it shakes out.
I've listened to and loved so many podcasts. I still value the craft (especially yours, which I enjoy in an intentional way while wfh!)
There was a time where my mind was so crowded that silence felt really uncomfortable, like I needed the noise to function. Now it's the opposite. I've noticed it creeping in too, especially travelling. There's something about not filling every gap that just changes how you process things. And thank you sooo much for saying that about the podcast, that means a lot!
Thanks, Will. We are often laughed at by visiting families who have come for dinner. For more than 25 years, we have had a rule: "No phones at the table. The reason was simple: we have dinner together every day, and it is family time. To catch up, joke and feel seen. Of course, it is an opportunity to shout, "Tatiana, stop taking and eat your dinner!.
Then I noticed about a year ago, a mother and a child who was maybe 4 years old. They rolled up together in my local Costa (my office every afternoon for a couple of hours). The girl had a hot chocolate. She turned to ask mummy a question and was met with the back of the phone and a few murmured words. The mother was not present and I realised that I had done much the same thing over the years. I was not present.
The reason I decided to write today is another observation that I have noticed but became impossible to ignore. I have just spent two weeks in Crete with 13 family and friends. I am now in Lombok after being in Ubud, Bali for a week. I am with my two daughters aged 19 and 13. They have grown up with "no phones at the table". We have eaten now at some of the best restaurants in Bali and Lombok. I would say they are on par with the best restaurants in the world, such as the Ledbury in London.
Last night we were surrounded by tables. A group of four all on their phones (parents and daughters, I presume); a couple where the man is looking in the air whilst his partner is scrolling) A single man with a bottle of wine and a phone for a date (I have done that one :), and another couple where again the woman was scrolling. And lastly, a couple where both were scrolling.
What amazed me is that they stopped scrolling as a course arrived and then promptly went back to scrolling.
I was thinking that restaurants should have a policy or advice...to enjoy the food and the company, we suggest you leave your phones in your bags.
There’s something about omnipresent phones. For the most part we get used to them and can’t really see it, but every now and then it really hits you - everyone’s on their phones all the time! In a restaurant that’s glaring and very depressing - I agree with you, I can easily imagine a time when they turn against it, making it clear it’s not welcome. I sometimes think it would be nice if they accompanied it with a son for those with young kids - please don’t worry if they are a little noisy in getting used to these places, because I imagine that anxiety does drive some of these choices by parents.
On the commute, where phone use is everywhere but unremarkable, it’s a bit like one of those Magic Eye pictures. Sometimes it looks totally normal - everyone’s just bored and looking at something, or doing a little work. And then sometimes your vision shifts and it looks just absolutely bizarre - everyone looks like a slave to these things.
I am struggling with this. Two days per week I commute four hours a day. I need my phone to listen to podcasts or a book. If I don't do that, I'll certainly fall asleep when I should be steering my car. Looking at my phone's usage stats. I don't think I could trim Substack. I could trim YouTube and I might set a daily limit to that, but I wonder if a surrogate app will increase.
That's a really interesting challenge. As a train commuter, my change felt like a total no-brainer. It has been a spectacularly easy way of building silence into my daily routine. But I'm fully aware not the case for everyone.
I cannot speak for the experience of a four-hour car commute. All I can say is that personally I now choose to drive in silence as a preference. But I would characterise that as an enjoyment that only emerged after a few weeks of the main "training on the train". Clearly if you worry about falling asleep, that's not something to mess around with!
You have a very challenging schedule for building in silence. I've seen more and more people advocate a daily morning walk without any stimulation. I'm absolutely certain they are right, but I'm equally sure one would need to think extremely hard about how that habit beds in. Easier said than done is probably an understatement here - I suspect you'd need to deploy the full power of Atomic Habits in order to get the consistent 4/5 weeks you'd need for neuroplasticity. On the plus side, it's more obviously pleasant than going without on the 9.17!
Thank you so much for the comment. I'm going to give this a lot more thought. Would be very interested to stay in touch if you do experiment with building something into your routine and whether you can alight on a formula that sticks.
One of my less phone exceptions was that I could listen to audiobooks during my commute... then about a week ago I decided to give it a go with just looking around. No book playing in the background. I haven't committed to this every single commute (yet), but I can say with 100% certainty that the days I commute in silence equals a work day that begins and ends with a personal acknowledgment of my life. I'm thinking about things going on around me instead of just floating along not noticing. I truly enjoyed what you shared in this piece - thank you!
Thank you so much for the kind words - it's truly appreciated.
It's so interesting you're noticing a difference in those days. Personally I found silence truly hard when I started, but I fancied I felt the benefits in the hours after. As you say, there's a different feeling there to be earned. It's subtle, but it's there. On the evening commute, it felt like I had processed work worries - like it was an airlock between home and work.
It actually took me a few good weeks before the experience of the silence itself was enjoyable. I imagine that says something about neuroplasticity. But also could say my baseline phone addiction was pretty high!
All up for the name pun 👍 lovely read. I continue to get weekly pressure from podcast fanatics (too strong a word?) on how music or silence is a waste of time. Agree to disagree
Thank you. I've seen you have a keen eye for puns, so the nod is much appreciated.
Waste of time is such an interesting one. For years I would have agreed with them. Why not learn more in each moment? I'm not saying that's categorically wrong, but can testify it feels really different after a few weeks of silence. Like it's not even close.
Thank you! That is so kind of you to say so! I’m definitely a latecomer to silence, but boy howdy when you get there it’s a good thing. But does seem to have a PR problem - or maybe that’s just the stuff I see!
Yes thank you. The Free Will pun occurred to me during the commute. I’m not entirely sure the world quite needs or wants a pun on a philosophical concept. But YOLO eh.
Alright, picking back where I left off the other day. So I noticed a key turning point for me with cell phone addiction (Negative turning point) was when I "realized" I could watch youtube videos while working out and also during a bath. I justified it in my mind, like, "Hey I'm taking this dead time, and I'm learning stuff!"
But I had no idea that the up front reward of "learning stuff" would soon be dramatically outpaced by the long term detriment of attention disruption.
Thank you, that kind of you to say! And also thank you for sharing that... I'd never even considered that possibility. What a great idea. Do you think it's widespread? Maybe people taking shelter from the war for attention should all set up a secret signal 😀
I think the danger with podcast consumption apart from being so socially acceptable, is that they can fit neatly into slots where we should otherwise be engaged in more healthy behaviours. Like silence, contemplation and mindfulness. We're already living busy and messy lives as it is. We don't always need the extra stimulation and distancing from our true nature and feelings.
Let’s give ourselves a rest, and allow space to be present for the things that really matter.
I couldn’t agree more with this point. There's something really valuable here.
I'm beginning to believe that people who'd never even heard of the term "mindfulness" were nevertheless able to access moments of it in the gaps in life, which likely supported their mental health in ways that wasn't obvious to them.
But the phone is closing all those gaps. So its very existence forces us all to reappraise questions we'd never previously considered. If you're interested, I wrote a piece which tried to get down my thinking on "the gaps": https://www.phonefreecommute.com/p/mind-the-gap?r=712j8x
Love this! One thing that's genuinely surprised me while travelling through Latin America (after 18 years in Singapore) is how few people use earphones on the street or on public transport. People here just... sit there. Lost in their own thoughts. It's wonderful and slightly confronting.
I'll admit that I'm guilty of the opposite. Stuff You Should Know is my go-to when my head is too full and I'm trying to fall asleep. Which is basically using a podcast to avoid sitting with my own brain. Probably exactly your point..... 😅
That Latin America / confronting observation is fascinating... Maybe they are living in a communal Dreamworld!
Definitely no podcast-shaming here. Can't be the case that podcasts are "bad"... If we follow that logic to its extreme, then nothing, no books, music, or art, would be worth doing because in a way everything can be used to avoid our own thoughts. It's definitely something about the omnipresence...
And for some reason in the stage of the journey I'm at, silence has become disproportionately appealing. It's really sneaked up on me! Interesting to see how it shakes out.
I've listened to and loved so many podcasts. I still value the craft (especially yours, which I enjoy in an intentional way while wfh!)
There was a time where my mind was so crowded that silence felt really uncomfortable, like I needed the noise to function. Now it's the opposite. I've noticed it creeping in too, especially travelling. There's something about not filling every gap that just changes how you process things. And thank you sooo much for saying that about the podcast, that means a lot!
Thanks, Will. We are often laughed at by visiting families who have come for dinner. For more than 25 years, we have had a rule: "No phones at the table. The reason was simple: we have dinner together every day, and it is family time. To catch up, joke and feel seen. Of course, it is an opportunity to shout, "Tatiana, stop taking and eat your dinner!.
Then I noticed about a year ago, a mother and a child who was maybe 4 years old. They rolled up together in my local Costa (my office every afternoon for a couple of hours). The girl had a hot chocolate. She turned to ask mummy a question and was met with the back of the phone and a few murmured words. The mother was not present and I realised that I had done much the same thing over the years. I was not present.
The reason I decided to write today is another observation that I have noticed but became impossible to ignore. I have just spent two weeks in Crete with 13 family and friends. I am now in Lombok after being in Ubud, Bali for a week. I am with my two daughters aged 19 and 13. They have grown up with "no phones at the table". We have eaten now at some of the best restaurants in Bali and Lombok. I would say they are on par with the best restaurants in the world, such as the Ledbury in London.
Last night we were surrounded by tables. A group of four all on their phones (parents and daughters, I presume); a couple where the man is looking in the air whilst his partner is scrolling) A single man with a bottle of wine and a phone for a date (I have done that one :), and another couple where again the woman was scrolling. And lastly, a couple where both were scrolling.
What amazed me is that they stopped scrolling as a course arrived and then promptly went back to scrolling.
I was thinking that restaurants should have a policy or advice...to enjoy the food and the company, we suggest you leave your phones in your bags.
That’s a shocking sight, and deeply depressing.
There’s something about omnipresent phones. For the most part we get used to them and can’t really see it, but every now and then it really hits you - everyone’s on their phones all the time! In a restaurant that’s glaring and very depressing - I agree with you, I can easily imagine a time when they turn against it, making it clear it’s not welcome. I sometimes think it would be nice if they accompanied it with a son for those with young kids - please don’t worry if they are a little noisy in getting used to these places, because I imagine that anxiety does drive some of these choices by parents.
On the commute, where phone use is everywhere but unremarkable, it’s a bit like one of those Magic Eye pictures. Sometimes it looks totally normal - everyone’s just bored and looking at something, or doing a little work. And then sometimes your vision shifts and it looks just absolutely bizarre - everyone looks like a slave to these things.
I am struggling with this. Two days per week I commute four hours a day. I need my phone to listen to podcasts or a book. If I don't do that, I'll certainly fall asleep when I should be steering my car. Looking at my phone's usage stats. I don't think I could trim Substack. I could trim YouTube and I might set a daily limit to that, but I wonder if a surrogate app will increase.
See the problem you have created?
That's a really interesting challenge. As a train commuter, my change felt like a total no-brainer. It has been a spectacularly easy way of building silence into my daily routine. But I'm fully aware not the case for everyone.
I cannot speak for the experience of a four-hour car commute. All I can say is that personally I now choose to drive in silence as a preference. But I would characterise that as an enjoyment that only emerged after a few weeks of the main "training on the train". Clearly if you worry about falling asleep, that's not something to mess around with!
You have a very challenging schedule for building in silence. I've seen more and more people advocate a daily morning walk without any stimulation. I'm absolutely certain they are right, but I'm equally sure one would need to think extremely hard about how that habit beds in. Easier said than done is probably an understatement here - I suspect you'd need to deploy the full power of Atomic Habits in order to get the consistent 4/5 weeks you'd need for neuroplasticity. On the plus side, it's more obviously pleasant than going without on the 9.17!
Thank you so much for the comment. I'm going to give this a lot more thought. Would be very interested to stay in touch if you do experiment with building something into your routine and whether you can alight on a formula that sticks.
One of my less phone exceptions was that I could listen to audiobooks during my commute... then about a week ago I decided to give it a go with just looking around. No book playing in the background. I haven't committed to this every single commute (yet), but I can say with 100% certainty that the days I commute in silence equals a work day that begins and ends with a personal acknowledgment of my life. I'm thinking about things going on around me instead of just floating along not noticing. I truly enjoyed what you shared in this piece - thank you!
Thank you so much for the kind words - it's truly appreciated.
It's so interesting you're noticing a difference in those days. Personally I found silence truly hard when I started, but I fancied I felt the benefits in the hours after. As you say, there's a different feeling there to be earned. It's subtle, but it's there. On the evening commute, it felt like I had processed work worries - like it was an airlock between home and work.
It actually took me a few good weeks before the experience of the silence itself was enjoyable. I imagine that says something about neuroplasticity. But also could say my baseline phone addiction was pretty high!
All up for the name pun 👍 lovely read. I continue to get weekly pressure from podcast fanatics (too strong a word?) on how music or silence is a waste of time. Agree to disagree
Thank you. I've seen you have a keen eye for puns, so the nod is much appreciated.
Waste of time is such an interesting one. For years I would have agreed with them. Why not learn more in each moment? I'm not saying that's categorically wrong, but can testify it feels really different after a few weeks of silence. Like it's not even close.
Oh and great read again! You’ve got this silence down to an art!
Thank you! That is so kind of you to say so! I’m definitely a latecomer to silence, but boy howdy when you get there it’s a good thing. But does seem to have a PR problem - or maybe that’s just the stuff I see!
Yep people aren't used to it....I walked through town today without my ear buds in - heard some interesting stuff
Love the new name Phone!
Is it a name change by deed poll? I once knew a guy who changed his name to Fox Mulder as he loved The X Files so much!
I’m thinking of changing my name to Max Power - it was just something I saw on a hairdryer!
Homer! You and I are so culturally aligned!
Yes thank you. The Free Will pun occurred to me during the commute. I’m not entirely sure the world quite needs or wants a pun on a philosophical concept. But YOLO eh.
Haha good spot!!!
YOLO!!!
Alright, picking back where I left off the other day. So I noticed a key turning point for me with cell phone addiction (Negative turning point) was when I "realized" I could watch youtube videos while working out and also during a bath. I justified it in my mind, like, "Hey I'm taking this dead time, and I'm learning stuff!"
But I had no idea that the up front reward of "learning stuff" would soon be dramatically outpaced by the long term detriment of attention disruption.
Thank you, that kind of you to say! And also thank you for sharing that... I'd never even considered that possibility. What a great idea. Do you think it's widespread? Maybe people taking shelter from the war for attention should all set up a secret signal 😀