The Attention Gym
Why gym people always win fights with meditators
133 hours. And bad news to report.
Two more people I spoke to this week on the commute described what I was doing as rawdogging. The sex act term seems to be bedding in. The profundity I’d been aiming for is slipping away. Drat.
I wanted to say “No, actually what I’m doing is mindfully observing the instinct to pick up the phone (which can otherwise happen automatically) and practising resisting that urge. I’m training my mind to default to the present, so it stays that way at home. And I’m resting my mind, which is newly necessary in an age of omnipresent technology, and in doing so I’m reversing the barely perceived background digital dementia, depression and anxiety created by phone use. It’s born of a conviction that meditation is the most powerful weapon against the worst effects of the phone.”
But the first person said they had to go in the middle of my description.
So when the second person talked about rawdogging, I was ready with something more snappy. I knew that meditation was off-putting, and I knew that anti-phone mental training was confusing.
“It’s a kind of Attention Gym,” I said. They nodded politely and wished me good luck with it.
My hidden talent
Recently I’ve started going to a real gym.
CrossFit, if you know it. It has a bit of a reputation as being very tough - people readily take their top off and swing round on a bar and they look like they are in an advert.
I’m new to it, and to exercise generally. The other day we were asked to do press-ups (I’m not going to tell you how many) and I got a little way into it and my muscles all exploded.
I lay on the ground with my face on the mat, wondering if I needed to turn my head to avoid bedsores. Some of the CrossFit people gathered round to encourage me to do more. They were very nice.
At the end of the session, we were all together stretching. The instructor asked what we were doing during the weekend. One person mentioned they were rowing in a regatta.
The instructor said wow, and asked if anyone else in the group had any hidden skills.
I toyed with the idea of telling the group I was capable of sitting doing absolutely nothing for hours at a time.
But while I was thinking about whether that would make up for the press-up thing, someone else chipped in that they were learning capoeira.
I decided to be the bigger man and let it pass.
Gym v Gym
It naturally got me comparing the two.
Immediate Benefits?
Real Gym. Clearly it takes time to condition the body. But exercising makes you feel better almost straight away. In my experience, if you do even one session you get flooded with endorphins.
Attention Gym. Feels terrible when you start, and yields absolutely no burst of good feeling directly after any session. That’s always been my experience anyway, others may feel differently.
WINNER - REAL GYM
Ease In Getting Started?
Real Gym. Sure, it’s tough to get off the sofa, but at least it’s pretty clear what you need to do.
Attention Gym. Let’s face it, the instructions are confusing. And coping with the feelings that arise when you stop distracting yourself with your phone is properly challenging.
WINNER - REAL GYM
Looks?
Real Gym. I guess not great if you are stuck to the floor surrounded by a supportive crowd due to an inability to do a press-up, but clearly has the potential to improve looks dramatically.
Attention Gym. Rubbish. Especially if, like me, you deem a high vis vest necessary. I’ve always thought it would look amazing to do that lotus position folded legs thing, but I can’t. I tried it at home but when I got up my legs gave way and I nearly hit my head against the table.
WINNER - REAL GYM
Understanding How Your Biological Brain Relates To Your Conscious Experience, And Thereby Reframing Negative Thoughts. Understanding Why Your Habits Never Stick. Understanding How To Make Best Use Of Your 4000 Weeks On Earth. Learning To Focus On The World Around You Without Intrusive Thought (In All Its Forms, Including Sunday Blues). Training To Be Present For Your Loved Ones. Finally Having A Workable Strategy For Your Digital Hygiene. Clearly Seeing The Effects Of The Phone On The Mind.
WINNER - ATTENTION GYM
Sorry. That was childish, I know. But it’s interesting… even as I try to write out the benefits in their most appealing form, they feel so intangible.
The Big Fight
Gym people will always win a fight with meditation people (Put that monk down! He’s already said he submits!)
The real gym is just so tangible. You can very easily imagine your muscles building and your heart getting stronger. And it boosts your mood right away.
It’s so hard to imagine that any sort of mental quiet over time compounds to your benefits - to really trust in neuroplasticity. Conversely it’s so easy to fill any gap with phone use and believe you’ll get away with it.
It’s no wonder that many meditation advocates borrow the gym analogy. Dan Harris says that trying to focus on your breath, and then noticing that it has (inevitably) wandered and then bringing your focus back to the breath is like a bicep curl for the brain.
It’s a really helpful comparison. And far far more valuable than making out meditation is easy or relaxing. Which it really isn’t.
How to be Mentally Strong - And Why
Looking out at rows of people lifting weights for fun, occasionally you remember that for most of human existence gyms would have seemed ridiculous. People got their exercise through back-breaking labour. Then incidental exercise disappeared for the deskbound amongst us, and gyms became necessary.
So now the Attention Gym needs to be as much a part of life as the real gym. But fortunately there’s no monthly fee.
One last comparison before we leave CrossFit behind.
I go to classes with my wife. She particularly enjoys strength training, because it’s a rejection of outdated expectations of what a woman’s body should be like. Almost a rebellion.
Right now trillion dollar companies are making money from us, not because they produce amazing content, but because our attention span is so shot by all their clever tactics that we default to scrolling their stuff.
Reclaiming your mind from the algorithm is an act of defiance.
The Attention Gym can be a rebellion too.
P.S. I’m heading off for a long weekend in the Lake District, so there will be no long-form article next week. Please feel very free to explore the archive of past dispatches at phonefreewill.com. I will be back in your inbox the following week with a Special Guest Star - please be mindful of your excitement levels.
Great article as always. I would never ever have put you down for a Cross Fitter. I'm not anti it because some of these people are unbelievable athletes - and the trainers are usually very knowledgeable and skilled - but it wouldn't be my recommendation for anyone new to training or slightly older. But, if you enjoy it - crack on - just be mindful you might end up out of the gym longer than in it - injured. If you don't injure your shoulder(s) within 12 months - I will never say a word against Cross Fit again. But gym and strength training - 100% - for sure.
Now what was the rest of the article about - lol - rawdogging? not sure what it is but can kind of guess. And have fun at the lake district. Sorry, the cross fit got me in a loop to absorb much more - lol
you mentioned something that I think about a lot, that the idea of going to a gym is kind of absurd from the perspective of most of human history. Modern life has become so detached from meeting our actual human needs, it's no wonder we are having a mental health crisis. Anyways, I'm new to substack and I have been really enjoying your phone-free thoughts!